bob (famp) wrote in 73h_31337,

The Application:

=Where did you hear about this community: Your mom? oh.. and fulltimeslacker.

=The stuff we don't really care about...
+Name; First, Middle, and Last: Bob D. Snuts
+Birthdate (MM-DD-YY): Roughly 9 months after my parents fucked in the back of a trash truck.
+Residence: Dumpster

+Book? Why?: I don't read. Why? Because reading promotes free thinking. Free thinking is dangerous. Ask Bush.
+Movie? Why?: House of 1,000 Corpses. Why? Because Sid Haig is one witty mother fucker.
+Song? Why?: The Mindless Self Indulgence Cover of Tom Sawyer by Rush. Why? Because it's an obnoxious song, covered by an obnoxious band, written by an even MORE obnoxious pig fucker, in the worst band EVER.
+Celebrity? Why? Jack Black. Because he can kick your ass.
+Sexual Position? Why? Sexual Position? Pffft. If I were getting laid, do you think I'd be spending so much time on Livejournal? If you're even part of this community, that pretty much proves you don't get any.

=Random Questions:
+How many times a day do you brush your teeth?: Hur Hur. I don't own me a toof-bruush.
+Describe yourself in a monosyllabic word: Badass. (Yes. I know. That's two syllables. Asshat.)
+If you were an animal, what would you be?: Your mom. Trust me. She's an animal. IN BED.
+If you were a condom, what kind would you be?: Kids still use condoms these days?
+Two people you'd like to stab and why?: Whoever wrote this retarded application, and Donald Trump.
+If you could be a superhero, what would your superpower be? And explain: I would be an Anti-Hero. Killing is necessary sometimes. My Power... the power to kill a yak... from 200 yards away. With mind Bullets. That's telekenesis Kyle.
+One thing you're deathly afraid of and why? (Let us laugh at your expense): Being part of this community.
+Tell us a joke: My application will get a yes.
+Are you satisfied with your genitalia? Justify your response: No. I'm a needledicked bug fucker.
+Your most embarrassing story (So we can once again laugh at your expense): I actually bothered to fill this out.

=Show us that you're not shallow or stupid by sharing your views on:
+Bonsai Kitty: Amusing. Terribly amusing.
+Lesbians: Neat.. but after a while, lose their novelty. Lesbians don't usually let guys jump in. BRING ON THE BI CHICKS!
+Aliens: Was a stupid movie.
+Three things you believe strongly in and why?:
1) This application being lame.
2) Me, being much cooler than any of you.
3) Censorship being a bunch of bullshit.

=Finish the sentence:
+OMFG: WTFBBQ!!!!!!!1111
+Hey, man: you just stepped on my dick.
+Arr matey, these landlubbers: be likin' the gay pirate sex.
+I'm Detective John Kimbell: YOU LACK DISCIPLINE!

I fucking own. Bitches.
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded